The Paranormal Blog

The setting is a church basement... a group of people are sitting in a semi-circle facing towards one man... me... Matthew... the light is dimmed... and I speak.

"Hi... My name is Matthew... and... and..."

A hush falls on the convened people as they wait for my admission.

"...and I don't want to believe."

Yes, I'm the exact opposite of the now-famed poster from The X Files television program.

The confession, however, is flawed... as it's not a complete confession... because I may not WISH to believe... but I do.

I am a very nuts-and-bolts kind of guy. Rather ones-and-zeros for me... I'm not a big fan of uncertainty. It is therefore with some -almost- jealousy that I watch people who so staunchly and firmly in their non-belief proclaim all paranormal experiences hogwash... because, my-oh-my, their lives are FAR easier than my own.

I do drink the so-called sceptical (read: Evangelical Non-Believers) Kool-Aid to a degree... I believe that if something defies proper scientific observation, it's validity must be questioned... I part company with them when they tell me that if something SEEMS to defy certain criteria, it must be dismissed as well.

I might not be so forgiving save two rather important things.

First of all, I realise that the lie of only "weirdos", "intellectually challenged", and/or "mentally deficient" people believe in these things... mostly because, unlike many in the evangelical non-believers camp, I've met, talked, and corresponded with people who are quite obviously not overly credulous or having issues distinguishing reality from fantasy... some of whom, quietly, are indeed firmly inside the so-called sceptical camps... and they relay their personal beliefs and experiences to me because they know I won't do what they expect from their own colleagues... and that is mock them for their thoughts or belittle their perceived experience.

Secondly, at a fairly young age, I ran into experiences of my own...

...and I would love, Love, LOVE to say, "Oh! You know what? I figured out... those WERE hallucinations!" or similarly, "Hey, upon further reflection, I've realised what I experienced was natural... and I foolishly ascribed something paranormal to it! Oh dopey me!"

Trouble is, I can't say that...

I've TRIED to say that... but the evidence (against) and models put forward to show it's all nonsense just don't stand up.

Nor do I believe those two statements above would stand true for much of what's been relayed to me.

Worse yet, since taking up the mantel of paranormal investigator and researcher as a "full time hobby" (if you will... sorry, but as I said a few posts ago, I do have a "day job"...) I've had other and different experiences... and had some rather eye-opening moments...

So I can't "not-believe".

It's a sticky wicket.

I suppose my solace is that despite the accredited educational system's well being absolutely poisoned by the organised evangelical non-believers to have them even entertain properly looking into the paranormal, (unless it's to utterly debunk it without a thought,) as they never wish to look like "woo-woos", it's amazing to me how often we do hear from teachers, professors, professional historians, and even medical personnel from all ranks who know they can come to us to discuss things or even bat about a speculative hypothesis... but of course, rare are those one's willing to set foot by putting their name to anything thanks to the fears of being thought of as "one of those people" who "believe in that bunk"...

You know, people like me... and probably you.

To be fair, I do understand why those folks choose not to "out" themselves about their beliefs as in many cases, their bread and butter comes from ensuring their status is good and that the powers that be are happy with them... and as long as there are people that scream from the rooftops about anyone entertaining the notion of things considered "paranormal" as being "woo", then they must maintain a safe distance publicly. I guess I'm fortunate... although I do work in technology... and indeed, in a lab environment... my employment is based solely on my skills as a technician, not on how the supposed "vox populi" views me.

Still, I want to have an easy answer... one that screams THAT'S THE REASON IT'S HAPPENING! and be able to rest on my faith and belief in that response... to say it isn't real because of "X" and have "X" be a great answer that DOES seem to cover everything... not just that I experienced... but from the thousands of genuine reported experiences I've heard/read about.

...but like I said, I can't.

Now, some folks reading this might say, "Who cares? I mean, so what if they don't believe! Why try to impress them?"

...because, at heart, I'm one of them too.

...save that I don't dismiss out of hand or poo-poo every case I hear or read about.

I believe that we *must* try to find better answers... because regardless of what the causation of these things is, finding out those answers will help everyone in some way.

...I also believe that if anyone thinks there is only *ONE* answer for everything... then they are the one's that are "intellectually challenged", "mentally deficient", and more appropriately, "blind".

There's a lot of weird stuff that's experienced. It's highly unlikely it's all caused by one thing.

...and yes, that "one thing" it cannot possibly be is the idea it's all bunk.

My name is Matthew... and I believe.

If that doesn't jive with your paradigm, before mocking me or anyone like me, I suggest you re-examine your stand... because if you're going to say, "It's not real because you can't prove it and for many years no one has!", I'm countering with one word...

..."yet".