The Paranormal Blog

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." is what the late Douglas Adams once said... Sadly, we too have a deadline on some things and took last week off to meet that deadline... but it went "whooshing" by and we missed it... sort of.

In essence, we need ONE MORE WEEK to prepare some offline things for a deadline that WILL be met, but like last week, we're pre-preparing posts, time-stamping them, and like this one, they'll pop up, ONE PER DAY, to ensure you have "fresh" reading material.

So, on that note, please enjoy the next seven days where we reproduce seven past "Shady Orb Rest Home" award winners from the old (defunct) Torontoghosts newsletters...

This "award" was given out as a rant to whatever was troubling poor old Matthew that particular moment in time... and the winner was "banished" to the Shady Orb Rest Home for whatever crime Matthew felt had been committed.

From August 2006...

What do you call someone who is reported to be in great suffering who is basically locked into a situation to the financial benefit of a few but not themselves?

I believe the term is "slave".

...and who'd want to live with the moniker "Slave Owner" amongst us???

Well, we know one couple that seem to be cool with this!

We've mentioned them before and I refuse to give them ANY publicity... let's just say they (and their cohorts in "stuff") are not high on the "esteem" list with us.

These two are professional house clearers... and are trying to hock a TV show... and are "helping" publicize "haunted places" for tourism.

They say, as to their house clearing activities that they are helping lost souls and spirits and their agony and turmoil into the light... except...

They happily advertise incredibly haunted locations... one, reportedly "Canada's Most Haunted Site" (despite no one in the paranormal community hearing about it until these two visited) with almost "guaranteed ghosts"!

Uh... wait a minute...

If you're "helping ghosts to the other side", why did they leave these one's alone?

One has to assume the only answer is $dough$.

...or perhaps these particularly tormented spirits (according to their advertising) are masochists.

If you clear the ghosts, how can you charge $200 (plus) for an evening at the place?

So, these two and the owner are ENSLAVING MISERABLE SPIRITS to SELL EVENINGS TO EXPERIENCE THEM!?!?!

Oh yeah, that's helpful.

Good thing that, chances are, it's all hogwash anyway.

Well, all these folks are already in the Shady Orb Rest Home... so we'll just have to add an addition.

We'll chain them to a wall and force them to watch marathon showings of Pauly Shore's greatest movies... and then charge people to watch them moan and groan and be violently ill.

Yeah~!