Post details: Children and Ghosts - Can Most Kids See Dead People?

01/30/08

Permalink 01:36:16 pm, by Email , 1185 words   English (CA)
Categories: Ghosts & Hauntings

Children and Ghosts - Can Most Kids See Dead People?

M. Night Shyamalan may have done a disservice to many with his movie, The Sixth Sense. Although it's a fine movie, it led a large contingent of parents to wonder... and believe... that their kid was "psychic" and saw "dead people".

Are kids more psychic? Are they more likely to see ghosts?

Our studies have shown this may be the case... judging by the amount of reports we get from parents who's children report seeing them... but one needs to look a little more carefully and understand a basic truth... Kids are (and should be) first and foremost, kids.

First of all, and you may think this is a bad joke or the sign of a horrible "sceptic"... but it's not... a lot of parents saw a young Haley Joel Osment and thought he was a very cute young boy... just like their kid... and the way parents tend to dress their kids in outfits that look great on "the other kid", some parents wanted their kid to be just like the character in the movie... and fought like mad to prove their child had "special qualities" when their progeny told them they saw a ghost. We had two mothers on our message board way back when arguing over who's kid was MORE psychic... One wonders if they really talked to their kids about it first?

Most kids "see things" adults don't... this is a combination of two things.

The first is that, indeed, they have growing imaginations. Again, this seems like a "cop-out", but bear with me...

The second is, as we mature and learn, we are taught to "filter" things in the environment. If you see a strange shadow briefly, as an adult, you ignore it and move on. Nine-times out of ten, the incident is forgotten within seconds as our brains tell us that the incident was very unimportant.

A child, on the other hand, will examine and question the shadow... and want to know more about it... and fixate on it.

Combine this with a (hopefully) encouraged imagination and you may get a "story" about the shadow...

Now, you might have a kid who legitimately does relay things they have seen/experienced... or you may get one who employs a bit of imagination to make things more interesting... not necessarily just for you... but for themselves too.

The best thing a parent can do when they have a child who's "seeing ghosts" is...

#1: Don't over-encourage things.

Children always want to appease and even impress their parents. If a person over-does the encouragement of talking about what the child saw, the child will start telling the parent what they think they want to hear... not what's actually true.

#2: Don't stifle things.

If you completely squash what the child is saying, they will clam up... when what they are wanting to tell you could be very important. If you say Don't tell me about your silly ghosts! I don't believe you and you shouldn't be scared! then they will equate talking about their fears with you to being lectured and told they are wrong.

...a happy medium should be built between the two things above when dealing with a child.

#3: Ask them why they think the "ghosts" are around.

Nine-times out of ten, this will tip you off as to what's happening. If the ghost is "going to get" your child... or is "menacing" the child so they can't be alone... or is making requests that would play into what the child might want (like sleeping with mom and dad,) then you might wish to see if possibly the "ghost" is just the kid's way of getting something he or she wants.

Of course, if the ghost gives a LOT of other information or details, you can approach a group like ours or even relatives, friends, and neighbours to see if maybe there is something to the stories... but remember, if you lead the child in their answers, they are likely to tell you what they think you want to hear.

#4: Before listening to advice, do some homework.

If your kid is only seeing ghosts at home, late at night, in their bedroom and you've experienced nothing in the house, don't assume that "All Children Are Psychic" and send your kid for "testing" through some sort of group or "specialist". Check to see if perhaps, it's the one place.. and one time... and again, DON'T lead your child... let them talk to you naturally.

#5: Ask yourself one question... is the child the only witness to things?

Rule one when looking into a ghost case is find out how many witnesses have experienced something at the same site. Usually, if many people live in a place and only one person is experiencing anything, that's a very rare situation... and the witness, as mean as this sounds, should be examined a touch more closely. Again, this is NOT an indication of "fraud" or "lies", but of simple looking towards every possible reason for "weird things" happening.

Other than these suggestions above, if someone with a child goes outside our website and group for advice, allow me to ABSOLUTELY say the following rules MUST be adhered to...

#1: If the child is experiencing physical symptoms that they or the parent/guardian attribute to some form of the paranormal, PLEASE seek the advice of a medical doctor first. Explain the details of the symptoms in full (you don't have to admit your hypothesis,) and make sure that your child is in good health other than these situations.

#2: If your child is on any medication for any reason, only stop using that medication if a medical doctor tells you so. DO NOT follow any other suggestions... especially from someone online. Seek your doctor's advice first.

#3: If someone tells you they can "teach" you child to be a better psychic OR they can "enhance" things... and want money... DON'T DO IT. No one can legally make that claim and no one can prove psychic abilities in the letter of the law or science. There are groups and people who can offer advice and even help if your child is disturbed or bothered by possible "psychic" ability... and they don't charge... but to be honest, if (and that is a very big "if",) your child has some special talent in these areas, they will grow and adapt with it normally as a rule. Perhaps wait until they are teens and can knuckle down on some good books as opposed to opening your wallet to someone or trusting someone to teach your child anything.

#4: If your child isn't psychic... or doesn't see ghosts... there's no shame in that. Most of us don't.

So please, if you feel your child is being pestered by dead people... or is psychic... please take what I've written to heart.

They may very well be psychic... or they could be lonely and afraid of the dark... or they could just be using a good imagination.

Realistically, all three of the above options are fine... and there's no harm in checking first before making any decisions or proclamations.

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Rick Lowrey [Visitor] Email
My daughter has been seeing ghost since see was old enough talk.shes 17 now an she saw a young woman go from our entry hall walk 10 feet or so an walk into a wall.this has be going on so long its kind of amatter afact.we never ask just every once in a whileshell tell us what she saw.we were in a restruant once sitting close to a outside window an said daddy whos that man.I said what man an she said the man out side the window .we were sitting 10 ft from the window an i saw nothing .I think she was 15 then. theres been other times. my wife an dont know what to think. she makes good grades an is a very smart young lady with no bad habits other than a smart mouth some times but nothing bad shes a good kid
PermalinkPermalink 02/19/08 @ 00:54
Comment from: Sue [Member] Email · http://seminars.torontoghosts.org/
Rick -> thanks so much for sharing :)
PermalinkPermalink 02/19/08 @ 05:54
Comment from: lady1975 [Visitor] Email
My son says he's seen an Indian man sitting in our neibors yard since we moved here. we've been hear about 1 1/2 years. When the conversation started he was asking questions. So I answered to the best of my ability. He wanted to know if gosts could hurt you? I told him no because he's allways been a quiet jumpy child. I told him they sometimes try to scare people. If that works they do it again to help them feel more alive. Thats when he told me he doesn't think he's crazy but he's allways seen people we can't. He described a man who yells at him when he climbs the trees in the neigbor hood. It just so happens that same man yelled at me when I was little. He was alive then. I'd forgotten all about him till he brought it up. He's deceaced now about 2 years. I told him he's not crazy and left it at that. Today he told me the indian looked through his celing and said something he doesn't understand "like a wisper in jiberish" is what he called it. He also says their are more indians over there but they don't look at him and have never tried to talk to him. He says he's not afraid of him it was just kind of freaky and he doesn't want him to come back into his room. He's almost 13 now. I am the only one he talks to bout any of this. I told him not to broad cast it. We are desendants to the Cherokey. could that be why he's trying to talk to my son. But why has he never done it before.
PermalinkPermalink 02/25/08 @ 17:38
Comment from: donna boetig [Visitor] Email
When I was bathing my 20-month-old granddaughter in her home, I noticed her looking to my left. She then asked, "Grandma, who is that man watching you?"

I asked, "Do you see someone, Katie?"

"Grandpa," she replied.

Both her grandfathers are alive so I inquired whether she was referrring to my husband and she said, "no."

I then asked her if it were someone older, and she said, "yes."

Katie was only an infant when my father died so I know she wouldn't recognize him per se, but he would likely have identified himself as "Grandpa," (not great-grandpa) when she asked aloud.

Am I reading too much into this incident?

(No, Katie is not a chatty little girl, and she is not prone to telling tales, that we know of.)

Can anyone relate to this. Your thoughts, please.

Many thanks,

-D
PermalinkPermalink 03/30/08 @ 21:16
Comment from: Trena Andreotti [Visitor] Email
I read the above about children seeing ghosts and I would give anything to be wrong. We live in a very old house. My 20 month old daughter has been playing and cooing to thin air since she was born, I am fine with that. Lately, what she sees scares her. I remain calm and try to redirect her or tell her she is okay and they can't hurt her. Her whole body trembles and she is petrified sometimes by what she sees. I assumed thiat it was just our house however, I was wrong. The other day we went to the cemetary. She has never been to one and we didn't tell her anything about them, ever. As we pulled into the drive to go into the cemetary she flipped out. I honestly have never seen a child that scared by what she saw. I calmly tried to soothe her and tell her it was a good place but we had to leave. She was shaking and hiding her face? I would love to hear that she is making this up but she barely talks and we do all we can to not feed into it. I also don't want to tell her that she doesn't see anything. She is very scared and I would love any suggestions that I can get.
PermalinkPermalink 06/28/08 @ 06:18
Comment from: Matthew James Didier [Visitor] Email · http://doubledeckerbuses.org/blog/
Hi Trena, I guess my first question within the context of this blog entry is, do you think your child is indicative of all children? Playing and cooing to what seems to be nothing is not all that odd... and is not all that indicative of something "ethereal" at work... and when you try to take an infant away from something that they have or are doing, they will assume that thing is "bad" because mommy and daddy say it is... and with that association comes fear...

When it comes to memorial gardens, most infants and young children don't have much issue with cemeteries until they are old enough to understand them or to notice the reaction they get from adults or other kids... Now, I know this is not the case, but immediately, I would look for other stimuli that may have caused the issue in the cemetery... perhaps a sculpture, the weather, the bump as the car went into the drive... almost anything before leaping onto the psychical bandwagon.

My reason behind this is because although I don't doubt that there are people (and kids) with special abilities, I do worry when parents are ready to "blame" abilities for behaviour... There are more than a few charlatans who'll take your money to "teach" you child "more about their gift"... when they truly may have been just seeing shadows and nothing more.

As stated, our view is don't treat the child any more or less special until they are of an age to help make decisions about their own "gifts" and "abilities"... or demonstrate something bordering on the miraculous (like naming an entire town's populace from 1899 without missing a beat.)

Is she "making this up" or not... no one can say for sure except her (and anyone who tells you differently should not be trusted... I mean, how often have you heard, "I know exactly how you feel because I've had 'X' experience" or "I'm an expert" and thought, "No you don't because you're not me!"... or worse yet, are told something that seems familiar from an "expert" that may not be true, (like a symptom for a disease that is common, but you're told that it's a possible lead to 'X' illness,) that suddenly embeds itself in your psyche and dogs you...

I'm afraid the BEST and TRUEST advice I can give is wait it out, don't do anything out of the norm until the kid is able to really let you know what's going on... and work from there.

Remember: In the last 200 years, there has only been one semi-documented case where a ghost MIGHT have killed someone... in the last ten years in Canada and the US, there has been over thirty deaths caused by humans attempting to "exorcise" spirits... the body count with the "well meaning humans" is way higher than the possible body count with the ghosts.
PermalinkPermalink 06/28/08 @ 09:56
Comment from: Matthew James Didier [Visitor] Email · http://doubledeckerbuses.org/blog/
Hi Donna... My eldest niece called her grandfather "Dad" because that is how she heard her mother refer to him as... and right after his death, at the age of about three, she kept seeing "Dad" in the house when she was staying with us with her mom through the funeral... "Dad" just went upstairs, "Dad" was sitting in his favourite chair...

To be fair, this seemed to be the extent of her "abilities"... as there was really no major incident after that really...

Is it "possible"? Sure... but like I pointed out, and is the thoughts behind a lot of psychical researchers out there, is it because adults are taught to "ignore" certain things... and kids don't ignore them?

Studies seem to show the latter to be more accurate.
PermalinkPermalink 06/28/08 @ 10:07

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Sue Darroch and Matthew Didier's Paranormal Blog

Information on this blog is based on the thoughts and discussion of Matthew Didier and Sue Darroch... two paranormal investigators/researchers based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Through Paranormal Studies and Investigations Canada, ParaResearchers, The Ghosts and Hauntings Research Societies, and several other groups, Matthew and Sue have a combined experience of well over twenty-years in the field of the paranormal. Feel free to contact the blog author via admin at psican.org for further information.

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